From time to time I hear those words at the end of a session.
I *could* have taken more. I could…
The answer is always simple. Yes, you most likely could have. We, humans, can take just about anything if given no choice.
But, would you have enjoyed it?
A good session is not about taking every single stroke that one *can* take. Taking every single stroke possible is one in a life time experience that those who tried, never want to repeat it, or worse, never want to play again.
A good session is about an enjoyable experience. Yes, it should push you a little bit, but it shouldn’t shove you right outside of your comfort zone. Yes, it should feel challenging, but not to the point you don’t want to think about it the next day. Yes, intense session is about you wanting to be broken, but only to the point it is possible to put you back together afterwards. Yes, you want your heart beating faster in anticipation, but you don’t want to freak yourself out into a panic attack.
Going right to the edge of what one can take is about the best plan I can think of to make sure you don’t want to play again. As a professional mistress, whose somewhat of a life mission is to provide people with safe ways to enjoy their fetish fantasies, this is against my belief.
It is a *good* thing to think afterwards that you could have taken more. That means you are buzzing with the experience, endorphins are flowing and the play was stimulating in just the right way.
Obviously, you don’t want a session so far away from feeling pushed or challenged (in one way or another) that it feels like a waste of time. I don’t want that either. I have no reason to hold back for the sake of holding back. My interest is to provide everyone with an unforgettable experience and safe journey of exploration of their fetish interests. I want you to explore your limits, but not to break them.
There is, however, sometimes a very good reason why I believe holding back is a good idea.
(Obviously if you don’t want any marks, that’s quite obvious I might not go as far as you might like.)
But apart of such obvious reasons there are others that might call for slightly less heavy play. Fetish play is not just a physical sensation of being in pain, there are also psychological and emotional factors to consider (and to enjoy). If you are new to play it is in your best interests to take it slow enough that you actually enjoy what happens during a session.
The more experience you have the safer (and more enjoyable) it is for you to push yourself further. I greatly enjoy intense sessions, when people explore their limits, properly, for the first time ever and when dark fantasies come true. Nothing makes me feel like I’ve done it right than hearing someone say that it was the most intense and remarkable experience ever.
I have often been told that I have taken someone further than they have ever been before but that they have still *enjoyed* every minute of it. Because, it is always about the enjoyment – whatever that ‘enjoyment’ is to a person.
I like intense play (whether that is on a psychological level of physical), but please, do not ask me break your limits as I will refuse to engage in this unsafe practice.